The Scorpion Ranch

We used to joke that we could name this place (our house, that is) The Scorpion Ranch.  After all, we breed them, we raise them. We slaughter them.  Of course, we don't do any of this on PURPOSE (except the slaughtering part), but it seems that we thrive as scorpion breeders.

We see, on average, probably one socorpion every week.  Many of these encounters are of the (very) close kind.  I have been stung twice now (Scorpion Sting Number Two is what has prompted this post).  My husband has been stung once.  I have found scorpions in the shower - specifically, on my arm, my shoulder, and climbing up my leg.  That's right - IN THE SHOWER.  I have found scorpions in bed (hence Scorpion Sting One and Scorpion Two for me, and Scorpion Sting One for Charles - yeah, you read that right, we were stung in bed - three times in a six year period).  We find them crawling across the floor and up and down the walls.  They are in the bathtub, in my dirty clothes pile (think it took me long to shake out my dirty clothes before doing any laundry or God forbid, wearing something that was in the laundry pile?), hiding betwen the washing machine and the dryer.  They. Are. Everywhere.  EVERYWHERE, I tell you!! 

So that brings me to Scorpion Sting Number Two.  December 14th, 2010. The night got off to a rough start with Jack waking up, screaming, around midnight.  We finally figured it was his tummy and probably a result of his dinner (not one, but two quesadillas!).  It took a good thirty minutes to get him settled back down again, and I ended up laying down with him (which I often do).  He woke up again, fussing and crying, around 5:00 AM.  Around this time I got up to pee and crawled back into bed, completely unaware of the scorpion that was at this time somewhere very near me (and my sleeping toddler).  Well - it found me!

Around 5:30 I felt something crawling down my neck towards my shoulder.  I did what any reasonable Scorpion wrangler would do.  I FLIPPED THE EFF OUT.  The second I hit it, it went for the kill and pierced my neck.  Luckily, I must have brushed at it at the same time because the stinger brushed my neck/shoulder rather than leaving me with a scorpion puncture wound.  It still hurt though.

Anyway, I jumped (JUMPED) out of bed, yelling "Scorpion!  Scorpion! Scorpioooonnnnnn!!" and pulled my shirt off at the same time.  Charles jumped out of bed as well, and Jack woke up (crying, of course...and probably scared to pieces).  I found the little bugger crawling out of the arm of my shirt (which at this point was lying on the bed). 

Because this sting was not nearly as intense as the first time I was stung, I was able to think clearly and put this to work as a learning opportunity for Jack (who had cheered up considerably when he realized I was freaking out over a scorpion - the kid loves bugs). "Jack, what do you do when you see a scorpion?" I asked.

He replied with "No touch! Dada get it."  SO proud.

And Dada get it, he did. Much to Jack's delight, that scorpion went DOWWWWWN. 

I need to back up a second though and reiterate: THERE WAS A SCORPION IN BED WITH MY SLEEPING CHILD.  Aaaagggghhhhhh!!!!! 

It is not easy to manage scorpions.  The Orkin Man, who was out not long ago, gave us scorpion traps - yes, traps - to catch them. A Scorpion trap is a sticky little box that they crawl into and get stuck on.  Of course, you have to guess about where to put them and then hope a scorpion A) stumbles across it, and B) decides to walk into it...but should those things happen, you have one less scorpion.

We happen to be out of scorpion traps at the moment, but it's safe to say we will be stocking up.  Here's hoping they have scorpion traps at Walmart!