Shout-Out to All The Single Ladies (single moms, that is) and Everyone in Minnesota

The good news is I am off the Whiney Train that I was riding last week, and now on board the Grateful Train!

All it took was a few sunny days and a break from handling bed time (thanks Charles)!

But today it's cold and icy again, and we had to send the babysitter home as soon as she got here because we realized conditions were only getting worse and I didn't want to be responsible for her sliding down the interstate in this awful ice.

So how does this result in a shout-out to single moms and everyone in Minnesota?

Well, I am far from a single mom.  I have Charles, who helps out a ton, and both my mother AND mother-in-law within a mile of our house.  So I have help.  And I still get overwhelmed!

Take today, for example.  We sent the babysitter home and because I have to work, took Jack to my mother-in-law's house.  Which is great.  Except, of course, he needs to eat breakfast first, and then I have to find his jacket and hat (yes, it's THAT cold - he needs a jacket and a hat just for the walk to the car) and round up some snacks that will hopefully help him to poop (yeah, you read that right - constipated toddler is NO FUN and a reality at this time).  So we drop him off, return home, work, and then have to go pick him up.  Which of course means he screams at me when I walk in because he doesn't want to go, he pretends like he is still drinking his apple juice even though the cup is empty, he starts asking for more crackers, he says he doesn't want to wear his jacket and then proceeds to actually prove this is true, he kicks off a shoe that must be returned to his foot...you get the idea.

It takes FOREVER to pick him up and return home, and we don't even live a half mile away!

So while I am going through all of these motions, I am constantly thinking A) I am lucky to have in-laws down the street who can watch him while I have to work, and B) THANK GOD I DON'T HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS EVERYDAY.  Because not only is it a hassle to just get him out of the house and into the car, but we still have to come home, change his diaper, and then convince him he actually needs to sleep before I can get back to work.

And I realize what a single working mom with a child in daycare has to endure on a daily basis.  And that is just the tippy tip of the iceberg - I have someone (Charles) who can watch Jack while I shower, let me sleep in on the weekends, take over the occasional bedtime so I can catch up on important things like Teen Mom 2 and Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and even let me out of the house on the weekends so I can enjoy luxuries like hair appointments and pedicures.  I have it so damn good - even though I whine, I know how much harder it could be.

So - once again - shout-out to the Single Moms!!

And for the people in Minnesota (and anywhere else that is cold and has snow more than three days out of the year)...well, let's just say I've officially realized I can never live in a cold climate.  I like it when it snows, I like to walk out in my boots and crunch around in the fresh snow and admire how beautiful it all looks and how muted everything sounds...but then the wind starts to hit my ears or my hands turn a little red from the chill and I am totally over it.  Completely, 100% over it and wishing it was hot outside.  And I haven't even talked about the misery that is taking care of the hooved children in this weather.

It appears I have passed this trait on to my child, who covers his ears (and he is wearing a hat to begin with) and says "Windy! Windy! Go inside!" as the going gets tough.  I guess you can take me out of California but you can't take California out of me.  Or my child, apparently.

So all of your in cold climates - you have my utmost respect and admiration.

This is our front yard.  It looks (and feels) like a Snow Ocean.  Pretty is as pretty does!

Well I Think I'm Losing My Mind This Time, This Time I'm Losing My Mind...

O-M-F-G.

Somebody HELP me!

We have been stuck in this house since Tuesday (it's Friday afternoon now) with nothing but the quick trip to my mother-in-law's house to break up the monotony.  It is freaking freezing.  Today there is at least 5 inches of snow covering every last spec of our entire 15 acres.  I am going mad.

Charles is luckier than me.  His week has been broken up with work (I work too, but not as many hours as he does, and when we don't have child care, which this week we do not have, guess who ends up not working?), dinner out with his friends, jogging and even a concert.

My week has been broken up with...well...let me think...trips to drop off and pick up Jack from my in-laws house, which really is worse than NOT getting out at all because when we pick up Jack he just screams at the top of his lungs and tells us to leave.  "No go Grammie's house, MAMA!  Mama NO GO GRAMMIE'S HOUSE!!!"  :-/  Yeah, really nice.  

I am pretty sure I have been in pajamas for the last four days (yeah, I change them every day, but STILL).  No point in dressing up for Thomas the Train.

So right now I am trying to escape, for just a few minutes.  I just finished getting yelled at by my two-year-old because he wanted me to play with him, and when I did try to play with him, I guess I didn't play correctly, so he started screaming at me some more.  This is of course AFTER he had a complete meltdown because he broke his cookie.  And refused to eat it in two pieces.

:::SIGH:::

So wish me luck, folks.  Because this time, I seriously do think I am losing my mind.

AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Scorpions and Spiders and Worms, Oh My!

Sorry.  Another Me-Bitching-About-Bugs post.

You know about the scorpions (well, I may have left out the time I was lying in bed with Jack when I saw a scorpion climbing over his sweet little 15-month-old head - as he slept - and flicked it off, only to wake him up white doing so and have a screaming child in bed while I searched the floor for the escaped scorpion - which I found and destroyed).  You know about the snakes that used to fall out of trees and die on our porch (ok, maybe I never wrote about those actually).  You know about the grasshoppers and crickets.  The Dirt Dobbers.  The wasps.  The fire ants.

But have I told you about the spiders and the worms?

I didn't think so.

So the other night we are laying in bed when all of a sudden Charles taps me on the shoulder.  Which I ignore, thinking maybe it was an accident.  He taps again.

Me: What?
Charles: Don't freak out, but...
Me: FREAKING OUT
Charles, continued:...there is something on my back.  Crawling towards my neck.  See what it is.
Me: DON'T. MOVE.

I crawl over and see something scampering across his back.  Way too fast to be a scorpion.  My experienced bug-spotting eyes see at once it is a Hay Spider.  Harmless but very large and very fast.

Me: It's a spider.  A Hay Spider.

Charles jumps up and flicks it onto the floor.

Me: Now you have to find that thing and dispose of it before you can get back in bed. 

'Cuz ain't NO WAY I am going back to sleep with a loose bed-seeking spider in the room!

Madness ensues.  As Charles is looking for the spider, I spot a worm crawling across the carpet (a centipede maybe? A little gray thing that curles up in a ball). 

Me: Get that worm!
Charles: I need to find the spider first.
Me: You'd better get it!! (meaning of course, worm and spider)

Charles is climbing all over the floor looking for this damn spider.  He *finally* locates it.  Kills it.  Picks it up, with the worm, and takes it to the bathroom for a quick burial at sea.

I follow him in and and am unpleasantly surprised to find two more spiders - not Hay Spiders, but fat-bodied black spiders with  thick legs, chillin' in the bathroom.

Me: GET THOSE OUT!!!!
Charles: OK!!!

All four unwelcome guests have at this point been exterminated.  Charles proceeds to look around the room for more.  I follow him (not going to trust him on this one) and finally satisfied that our bedroom is bug-free, crawl back into bed.

Not ten minutes later (I kid you not), I feel something crawling - quickly - up my arm.  I don't have the same level of composure as Charles does when it comes to bugs.

I FREAK THE EFF OUT.

Rip my shirt off, saying "Bug! Bug! Bug!"

Charles finds it crawling across the bed and flicks it off the bed.  He goes to catch it and wouldn't you know it, ANOTHER FREAKING SPIDER IS CRAWLING ACROSS THE FLOOR NEXT TO THE ONE WE JUST FLICKED OFF THE BED.

Me: I f*&%#$% HATE IT HERE!!
Charles: It's ok, we'll get them all. 
Me: I f*&%#$% HATE IT HERE!!

So, we proceed to walk around the room and Charles seals off every possible entrance into the bedroom.  It did the trick.

Today it is 17 degrees, and with the wind chill it feels like 3 degrees.  All I can think about are all those bugs sitting outside our house and freezing. 

DIE, Bitches!!!