Not for the Faint of Poop

There are some things about parenting that you just absolutely, positively, 100% CANNOT avoid.  No matter what.  Like, for example...poop.

I would consider myself a poopaphobe (I imagine there is a real word for that, but I am afraid to google it...there is all kinds of weird stuff out there I *do not* want to know about but imagine I would learn about if I googled "poop phobia" or something along those lines).

In our house, Charles handles all matter fecal.  The littler box needs cleaning? The poop-filled toilet overflowed onto the floor and saturated the carpet?  The cat had an "accident" in the dirty clothes?  Charles is the man.  He knows I won't even try to handle it.

But with your own kid, it's a different.  I can't just call in Charles every time Jack has a poopy diaper (and Lord knows, in the beginning almost every diaper was a poopy diaper!).  To be honest, when it's your own child, it's not nearly as traumatizing as you would expect.  I don't think there's anything that Jack could produce that would completely gross me out (not saying I WANT puke and pee and poop and boogers on me, but it is certainly not as bad as I had imagined it would be).

So this brings me to today's Poop Event.

After Jack's nap, I was changing his diaper.  I was surprised to find a nice little "shart" in his diaper.  And it had been there awhile, which means it was now the consistency of play-doh after it's been left out for a couple of hours, only sticker.  It took way more wipes than it should have to remove this small amount of poop, and the more I wiped, the more it just sort of balled up and got pushed around.  Yeah, realllllllly, reallllllllllly fun (let me just take this moment  to recognize the fact that never in a million years did I think I would be writing about this kind of thing on the Internet).  I finally had it all - except one. little. poop ball.  And wouldn't you know, the damn thing rolled onto the floor when I was trying to wipe it up, and wouldn't you know, that new carpet we bought that is textured and hides stains so well worked just perfectly and that little ball of poop disappeared into the carpet.  Ugh.

So, I started searching around for it, meanwhile holding Jack's legs in my left hand because I didn't want it to get stuck on him somewhere.  So I grabbed a wipe and started dabbing it around the carpet, hoping it would pick it up (it didn't). I finished diapering Jack and the next thing I knew, he was up and running and I was after him and I am embarrassed to admit, I forgot all about the lone piece of poop (which, by the way, was LITTLE...like, the size of a pinhead maybe...don't think I left a big log on the floor, please).

So the poop was forgotten and may have never been thought about again.  But we know that is not the case.

Not long after all this went down, we were back on the floor for another diaper change.  I finished snapping the diaper on (it was cloth) and sent Jack on his way.  I stood up and moved towards the kitchen to wash my hands.  Right before I turned the water on, I noticed something...small, brown, sticky and stinky...on the palm of my hand.

Yep.  You guessed it.  I found the poop.  

Maybe it's time for potty training...