The Domestication of Mrs. Lindsey (that would be me)

Claire is three months old.  My last day of work was July 1st.  That means I have been an official "Stay at Home Mom" for about 4 months now.

But to be honest...it's only in the last few weeks where I have really started to FEEL like a Stay at Home Mom.  As in, this is my JOB now...my job is solely to take care of my children.  I do not have to report to anyone (well, that is questionable...it sure feels like I am reporting someone and that someone is a very demanding toddler).  I do not have to get dressed in the morning.  I do not have to check my voicemails or respond to emails.

I do not get a paycheck.  No one tells me thank-you.

And I am okay with that, because really, I am not so sure I am good at this job.

Not yet, anyway.

I feel like I was really good at my "real" job.   I kept my nose to the grindstone and managed to squeeze a full-time position into about 25-30 hours of work a week.  I did my best to keep my clients happy and to exceed the expectations of my boss.

Try as I might, I am having a hard time applying these same principles to my "new" job.  No matter how hard I work, I am never able to get ahead.  The house is always messier than it should be, the last load of laundry lays on the closet floor and taunts me because I can never seem to get to it, and don't even get me started on the Toy Explosion that is Jack's room.  My clients and my boss are the same two little people and WOW, are their expectations high.  It seems like I am always using the wrong sippy cup or offering the wrong cheese ("NOOOOOO!!!!  I want CHEDDAR cheese, Mama!") or causing tantrums because I insist that the golf club not be swung near the baby.

And then, as I browse facebook or Printerest on my iPhone as I nurse the baby to sleep, I see all of these fabulous creations...food, crafts, clothing, elaborate parties...all put together by fellow SAHM's of young children.  And I think..."Well, if they can do it, why can't I?"

I have to be realistic here.  Although I was super-efficient at work, I am not super-efficient at home.  I consider it a battle won if both kids are dressed and I have changed out of my nursing bra and into a real bra by 10:00 AM.

Breakfast?  If Charles doesn't make it and we don't have frozen waffles, it's a bowl of dry cereal or a fiber brownie for Jack and whatever I can find for me.  Lunch and dinner?  Much of the same.  Quality time with Jack?  Not happening, unless Mickey Mouse Clubhouse counts as quality.  Clean house?  Rarely...most often, the house is in a state of just-cleaned-but-already-needs-to-be-cleaned-again.

Somehow, I manage to be home all day long and not get a damn thing done.

The last few days this has started to get to me a bit.  I miss using my brain the way I did in the office.  I miss adult conversations and being up on current affairs other than which Mickey Mouse Clubhouse episode is newest.  I kind of even miss...spreadsheets.

I am so grateful (seriously...insanely grateful) that I have the opportunity to stay home with my babies. I just wish I was better at managing this precious time and using it to everyone's advantage - for myself, the kids, and Charles.

So, I can sit here and whine about how much slower my brain is these days and how impossible it to get things done...or, I can just do them already.

I have accepted my new assignment and I am on the path to domestication, folks.  In fact, I have already started.

Last week, a friend taught me how to cook something (go ahead, laugh, but this is a BIG. DEAL.).  This week?  I am going to actually try cooking it.

I decided I want to learn how to sew.  I am sick of always seeing cute little projects and thinking, "Wow, I wish I could sew!" So?  I called up my mom and asked her to teach me.  I now have the same sewing machine she learned on sitting next to our dining room table (a Singer sewing machine from about 1950 - they really, truly do not make things like they used to).  This may be putting the cart before the horse, but, I am going to make Christmas gifts for most everyone we know this year.  I will share my first completed project once it's done...but here's a picture of the first thing I actually sewed on this machine (after a little more practice, I dare say all those projects I wish I could make might actually be within reach):

I am going to start getting Jack involved in more projects and try to maybe even leave the house a few times each week with both kids.  Here is the one and only project I've actually made with Jack lately, and his "help" was really limited to letting me trace his hand once.  This is a creepy wreath made of hand prints from Jack and Claire...it might have been not-so-creepy, but I think the baby hands and the little ribbons-that-look-like-wrists make it toe the line between cute and ooky (but since it's for Halloween, who cares, right??):

And one more thing (reaching for the stars, here!).  I am going to do my darndest to get out of these maternity shorts and sweat pants.  The better I feel and the more energy I have, the more likely I am to actually accomplish the above things.  And Lord knows I need all the help I can get if I am going to be a SAHM who actually does SAHM things like cooking and cleaning and entertaining the kids.

Wish me luck on this journey.  I will keep you posted.