The 21st of September, Again

Last year, I was inspired by Jill over at Baby Rabies to record "a day in the life" - an hourly journal of our typical day, in pictures.

I had so much fun that first time - which was the 21st of September, 2011 - that I decided to record one day each month for an entire year to see how things would (or would not) change over the course of the year.

As I look back through some of the posts, a few things have definitely changed.  My kids are a year older (and at this stage in their lives, a year is a Really Big Deal).  Claire, while still nursing, is no longer nursing.all.day.long.  Jack, while still throwing me into a complete tizzy every now and then with his meltdowns and general three-year-old behavior, is settling down (I think?).

And then, a few things have *not* changed.  I'm still a stay-at-home-mom, who mostly sucks at her "job."  The kids still don't sleep, and this still drives me batshit crazy (seriously, kids...SLEEP, already).  And our house is still a mess that I just cannot keep up with, no matter how hard I try.

I was hoping to get really creative for this last "21st of..." post.  I thought I'd break out the fancy camera and actually schlepp it around with me all day, maybe...or do a compare and contrast of today's pictures versus the pictures I took on September 21st of last year.

I got off to a good start.

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Sick With Kids...Not the Same as Sick Without Kids

We are sick.  Well...Jack, Claire and I are sick.

This morning as I was laying in bed I had a quick flashback to what being sick meant before kids.

Yeah, it still sucked...I felt awful and it would mess up my work day (and really messed things up in the days before I was able to work from home) and I hated it.  Being sick is never fun.

But...(and this is a big but!) I could stay home and SLEEP IT OFF.  I could wallow in my sickness in a giant bed, by myself, only getting up to move to the couch and put on a movie that I would then watch the whole way through.  I would ask my mom or Charles to bring me Gatorade and maybe a popsicle or two.  I would eat these in peace and then leisurely check my email and then go back to the bed.  By myself.

Not anymore.

Today I write this from the couch as the baby plays on the ground, which she will often due for long stretches of time.  When she's sick though, I am lucky to get 10 minutes from her.  Jack is watching The Pink Panther.  I have been trying to watch less TV but on days when Jack is sick/especially grumpy I am ridiculously grateful to whoever invented the TV and grateful for the fact that we have one and the electricity to run it...because I think it's safe to say that the TV won't be turned off today.

The house is extra messy, I can't imagine finding the energy to dress everyone, and the thought of actually leaving the house to run an errand makes my head spin.  I have an arsenal of wipes ready to collect all the snot two small children can produce (guess what - it's a lot of snot).  I am insanely grateful for our health and I can't wait until it returns.

It's likely that we'll spend the day in our pajamas, watching Scooby-Doo and on-demand train movies while I beg the kids to nap.

And actually...that doesn't sound a whole lot different than our healthy days!

Pee for Two

As I was rocking Claire to sleep for her afternoon nap, I was thinking about what a great day today was.  I woke up to a thunderstorm (which was awesome) and was rocking the baby to sleep next to an open window with a cool breeze blowing in and not a cloud in the sky.  Jack and I baked pumpkin muffins (they only have two ingredients, but I am going to let it count as cooking), the kids stayed in their pajamas all morning and in diapers/underwear all afternoon, and Jack was relatively mild as far as almost-three-year olds go.  There wasn't much more I could ask for and I was thinking I would blog about how grateful I was for this typical day.

But then?  That whole thought I was having about Jack being pretty mild-mannered?  He stuck it to me.

It went down like this.

It was around 3:00 PM - the Witching Hour in our house.  This is when Jack *should* be sleeping, but instead he is just grumpy.  So, we put on a movie and turn out all the lights and sit him on the couch and hope/pray he will fall asleep (he never does).  I take this time to rock the baby and see if I can get her to sleep on me for an hour or so in relative peace.  Today was no exception.

As usual, she was tired but fighting sleep like crazy.  She was wiggling and squirming and scratching at my chest with with her sharp little fingernails (baby fingernails are so sharp they're ridiculous - kind of like kitten claws - in fact, a fussy baby fighting sleep is not unlike a Feral Kitten).   After about ten minutes of this, she was finally reduced to a warm soft ball of squishy baby goodness as she drifted off to sleep.  I listened to her little baby sighs and watched as her eyelids dropped lower...and lower...until finally her eyelashes rested against puffy cheeks  I felt myself let out a sigh (a happy one) and all tension drain from my body (seriously, getting a baby to sleep can be dreadful but once they're out, it's the best feeling EVER).

Not two seconds after she closed her eyes, Jack walked in.  I sighed again (not a peaceful and content sigh, because I knew where this was going).

I put my finger to my lips to tell him to be quiet.  I knew better.  Telling him to be quiet when the baby was sleeping DURING HIS GRUMPIEST PART OF THE DAY would not go over well.  But I had to try.

He stopped and looked at me.  He was standing by the white noise machine, which was turned on because it helps drain out, well, him.

He pulled the plug out.

I shook my head in disapproval and pointed at the door (thinking, "SHIT.  Now I have to get up with the baby who just fell asleep and go turn that back on or else she's going to wake up in five minutes anyway when Jack starts laughing as loud as he can at the movie."), hoping he would take the hint/order and leave.

He plugged the thing back in.  The baby stirs.  I am not happy because he's TWO and not supposed to be plugging things in (or unplugging them for that matter), but I'm also kind of happy the noise maker is back on.

I mouth "thank you" and point at the door again.

He stares at me.  I see the little wheels in his head turning.

He pulls the plug out again.  Silence (the anti-noise from the noise maker is louder than the actual noise, I swear).

This time, I have to respond.  First, I give him "the look."

"Jack," I say very seriously and quietly.  The baby wakes up, because she really didn't want to sleep to begin with and now she has an excuse to wake up.  "Jack.  The baby is sleeping.  You need to go watch your movie.  You are not supposed to mess with plugs or wake up the baby.  Step back right this second."

He plugs the damn thing in again.  The baby is craning her neck around to see what is going on (and I'm sure she's thinking "What is up with out noise maker??").

This time I give him "the look" but double the intensity and I can see he's getting it.  "Step back from the plug right. this. second.  I mean it."  He doesn't move, and I can see by the look in his eye this is not over.  "Step. Away. From. The. Plug."  I am *extra* clear (you know, in case he's not understanding or something...HA).

And guess what?  He does!  He steps away from the plug!  Then he looks at me again, reaches down, and PULLS IT OUT.

AAAGGGHHH.

I jump up out of the rocking chair, wide awake baby in arms.  He makes a run for it and jumps on the couch and turns around to see what I'm going to do.

I plug the noise maker in and tell him to watch his movie "or else" he's going to take a nap (which I know is not going to happen because I do not have the ENERGY to make him sleep and there ain't no way he's going to sleep without someone sitting in bed with him staring at him until he drifts off and that's JUST NOT GOING TO HAPPEN).

I return to the rocking chair, a bit frazzled and back to dealing with the Feral Kitten.

Eventually, though, she does go back to sleep.

Not long after she's fallen asleep, I hear "Help!  Help Mama!  Mama help!" from the living room.  We are trying to teach Jack not to call for help unless there's a real emergency.  I know from experience and his tone that this is not, indeed, an emergency.  So I keep rocking Claire.

Five or ten minutes later, Jack walks in.  "I pee-peed in my underwear!" he says.  Loudly.  Sure enough.  His underwear are soaked.

I try to help him pull the wet ones down while keeping the baby asleep but she is waking up quickly.  "Go get some clean ones!" I say, hoping he'll actually follow directions and not only help me out by getting clean underwear, but also maybe (just maybe!) being quiet long enough for Claire to settle back down.

"No, Mama, I can't get clean underwear.  YOU get clean underwear for me."

"Why didn't you take them off and use the potty?"  I ask.

"I called you and I needed help taking them off."  Oh.

"I'm sorry, I did't know that you needed to pee.  Just go watch the movie until I come out," I tell him.

Well by now of course the baby is wide awake and there's no going back to sleep for her, so I go out to the living room and there is PEE EVERYWHERE.  A giant puddle on the wood floor, and footprints ALL OVER THE ROOM.

I put the baby down, grabbed a couple of towels, and got after it.  Who would've thought a little bladder could make such a mess!  I guess, in hindsight, I should be grateful it wasn't poop.  I dealt with plenty of that today, too.

The reason I share this story is because A) it's kind of funny, now that I think about it, and B) in a matter of thirty minutes or so, I went from thinking about how grateful I was for a normal day to thinking about how grateful I was for my own self-control.  Because seriously, I almost lost it.

But the kid is TWO.  So even though he pushes my buttons (a lot, and the grumpier he gets, the worse it gets), it's important to keep things in perspective.  A two-year-old should not be able to ruin my day.  In fact, a two-year-old should make my day *better*.

I am grateful for my two-year-old and the lessons he teaches me, even when it means the baby doesn't get to nap and I have to clean up a bunch of pee.

This is close to the look I got when I asked him to stop unplugging the noise maker.  

The Domestication of Mrs. Lindsey (that would be me)

Claire is three months old.  My last day of work was July 1st.  That means I have been an official "Stay at Home Mom" for about 4 months now.

But to be honest...it's only in the last few weeks where I have really started to FEEL like a Stay at Home Mom.  As in, this is my JOB now...my job is solely to take care of my children.  I do not have to report to anyone (well, that is questionable...it sure feels like I am reporting someone and that someone is a very demanding toddler).  I do not have to get dressed in the morning.  I do not have to check my voicemails or respond to emails.

I do not get a paycheck.  No one tells me thank-you.

And I am okay with that, because really, I am not so sure I am good at this job.

Not yet, anyway.

I feel like I was really good at my "real" job.   I kept my nose to the grindstone and managed to squeeze a full-time position into about 25-30 hours of work a week.  I did my best to keep my clients happy and to exceed the expectations of my boss.

Try as I might, I am having a hard time applying these same principles to my "new" job.  No matter how hard I work, I am never able to get ahead.  The house is always messier than it should be, the last load of laundry lays on the closet floor and taunts me because I can never seem to get to it, and don't even get me started on the Toy Explosion that is Jack's room.  My clients and my boss are the same two little people and WOW, are their expectations high.  It seems like I am always using the wrong sippy cup or offering the wrong cheese ("NOOOOOO!!!!  I want CHEDDAR cheese, Mama!") or causing tantrums because I insist that the golf club not be swung near the baby.

And then, as I browse facebook or Printerest on my iPhone as I nurse the baby to sleep, I see all of these fabulous creations...food, crafts, clothing, elaborate parties...all put together by fellow SAHM's of young children.  And I think..."Well, if they can do it, why can't I?"

I have to be realistic here.  Although I was super-efficient at work, I am not super-efficient at home.  I consider it a battle won if both kids are dressed and I have changed out of my nursing bra and into a real bra by 10:00 AM.

Breakfast?  If Charles doesn't make it and we don't have frozen waffles, it's a bowl of dry cereal or a fiber brownie for Jack and whatever I can find for me.  Lunch and dinner?  Much of the same.  Quality time with Jack?  Not happening, unless Mickey Mouse Clubhouse counts as quality.  Clean house?  Rarely...most often, the house is in a state of just-cleaned-but-already-needs-to-be-cleaned-again.

Somehow, I manage to be home all day long and not get a damn thing done.

The last few days this has started to get to me a bit.  I miss using my brain the way I did in the office.  I miss adult conversations and being up on current affairs other than which Mickey Mouse Clubhouse episode is newest.  I kind of even miss...spreadsheets.

I am so grateful (seriously...insanely grateful) that I have the opportunity to stay home with my babies. I just wish I was better at managing this precious time and using it to everyone's advantage - for myself, the kids, and Charles.

So, I can sit here and whine about how much slower my brain is these days and how impossible it to get things done...or, I can just do them already.

I have accepted my new assignment and I am on the path to domestication, folks.  In fact, I have already started.

Last week, a friend taught me how to cook something (go ahead, laugh, but this is a BIG. DEAL.).  This week?  I am going to actually try cooking it.

I decided I want to learn how to sew.  I am sick of always seeing cute little projects and thinking, "Wow, I wish I could sew!" So?  I called up my mom and asked her to teach me.  I now have the same sewing machine she learned on sitting next to our dining room table (a Singer sewing machine from about 1950 - they really, truly do not make things like they used to).  This may be putting the cart before the horse, but, I am going to make Christmas gifts for most everyone we know this year.  I will share my first completed project once it's done...but here's a picture of the first thing I actually sewed on this machine (after a little more practice, I dare say all those projects I wish I could make might actually be within reach):

I am going to start getting Jack involved in more projects and try to maybe even leave the house a few times each week with both kids.  Here is the one and only project I've actually made with Jack lately, and his "help" was really limited to letting me trace his hand once.  This is a creepy wreath made of hand prints from Jack and Claire...it might have been not-so-creepy, but I think the baby hands and the little ribbons-that-look-like-wrists make it toe the line between cute and ooky (but since it's for Halloween, who cares, right??):

And one more thing (reaching for the stars, here!).  I am going to do my darndest to get out of these maternity shorts and sweat pants.  The better I feel and the more energy I have, the more likely I am to actually accomplish the above things.  And Lord knows I need all the help I can get if I am going to be a SAHM who actually does SAHM things like cooking and cleaning and entertaining the kids.

Wish me luck on this journey.  I will keep you posted.

The 21st of October

Guess what?  Claire is THREE MONTHS OLD today!  Wow.  I've said it before, I will say it again, and I'll say it here now...time is absolutely flying by.  I swear it's going by faster with Baby #2.

On the 21st of every month I dress Claire in the same cute pink diaper and we do a little photo shoot.  Last month, I was inspired by Jill at Baby Rabies to take pictures throughout the day to document what a normal "day in the life" is like.  Well, I liked it so much that I have decided to do it every month on the 21st (because I hopefully won't forget on those days as we start the day off taking pictures!).

This month, I admit I was a little bored with my day.  I was hoping the 21st of October would coincide with some super fabulous trip to the pumpkin patch or an exciting trip to, I don't know, Target or something (if it's me, by myself, with both kids...I can guarantee you those are pictures you would want to see, HA!).  But, truth be told, today was pretty darn boring.  I didn't have anything exciting to document (and even if I did, I only had my phone with me today...not even the little digital camera, let alone the Big Camera Beast I am a little bit afraid of but that makes everything look way cooler than it really is).  I am putting this together thanks to my iPhone (with a little help from Instagram).

Boring or not, though...it was a day filled with healthy and happy kids and for that, I am grateful.  So, let the fun begin!

9:00 AM

The picture is blurry but it still says a thousand words.  In a nutshell, this is what I get to wake up to each morning!  Claire sleeps the first part of the night in her bed, and I bring her to bed once she wakes up.  Then I see this smiling face in the morning.  And even better...this morning she slept in until 9:00 and even better than that...so did Jack.

10:00 AM

Breakfast of champions.  Pancakes (Jack calls them "pan-a-cakes") and hash browns from McDonald's. But the juice is organic!  From Central Market! That makes it ok, right??  Hehe...

11:00 AM

This is my third attempt to convince Claire she really wanted to take a snooze in the swing.  She really didn't think she wanted a nap at all, thankyouverymuch.  Charles finally talked her into taking a quick snooze.  While he did that, I enjoyed another very large glass of tea.

12:00 PM

Claire's nap is over (she did sleep for 40 whole minutes though, so I am not one to complain!) and we all know Jack isn't going to nap (sigh) so we are watching "Up" on the couch.  If you have not seen "Up" before...please see it.  I am confident in this recommendation (unlike the time I recommended Kill Bill to someone who weeks later told me she went to see Kill Bill because someone had recommended it and she hated it so much she walked out of the theater...and no joke, she didn't remember I was the one who recommended it so I didn't say anything...HA!).  Seriously...this movie is amazing.  It makes me laugh, it makes me cry, it makes me grateful for what I have and it inspires me...and Jack loves it, too.  This particular part of the movie is extra great.  Dug, the dog, had just said to grumpy old Mr. Frederickson, "I have just met you and I love you."  LOVE this.

1:00 PM

The first picture?  A few cloth diapers I just hung outside (the sun removes stains better than any stain remover could).  The second picture?  Nursing baby in my lap.  This picture is kind of tripping me out...the hand next to Claire's side and leg is *my* hand...it kind of looks like she has a giant hand or something...!

2:00 PM

I am going crazy being inside the house, so while Charles tries to convince Jack to take a snooze on the couch (HAHAHAHA) I take Claire for a stroll.  There were more turtles on that log, but I was too loud walking around the corner and a bunch jumped off before I could take their picture.  And the squirrel...well, he is clearly challenging me to mess with him and make him move!

3:00 PM

Playing on the floor with both kiddos.  Well, mostly protecting Claire from projectile tow trucks.  But guess what else happened during floor time?  Claire ROLLED OVER.  From her back to her tummy.  Twice.  By herself.  Jack was four and a half months old before he even attempted this.  Claire has been working on it for about three weeks now, and today she succeeded.  And as soon as she gets on her tummy, what does she do?  Starts kicking her little legs and moving her little arms around...this kid wants to move.  Jack didn't crawl until he was ten months old.  I am thinking this is going to be a whole different ballgame!

4:00 PM

Ummm...anyone want to help me put some laundry away?  There's plenty to go around...

5:00 PM

We go for another walk, and this time Jack, Charles and Janga come with us.  And this time, I make sure everyone is quiet so I can sneak up on the turtles and get this picture.

6:00 PM

We are going to the neighbor's house for dinner so I make Jack lay on the floor so I can change his diaper.  The diaper has been changed and he is pushing the limits here by putting his feet on the baby.  Over and over and over again...I just gave him my "serious" voice and he's debating about how serious I really am (for what it's worth, it worked...foot was removed!).

8:00 PM

Claire is ready for bed at 8:00, so I bring her home and give her a bath (she sure doesn't look very tired in this picture, does she?).  

It's now 1:00 AM and I guess all that tea is taking it's toll, because I'm not tired.  However...the baby monitor is blinking and I imagine Claire will be waking up sooner rather than later.  

And with that...it's off to bed I go.

Why I Blog (And Why You Should, Too)

I originally started blogging because my friend Jesika convinced me to give it a try.

I admit it.  I thought it was totally lame.  Kind of like when I first learned about digital cameras, I just didn't get the point.  See, when I first saw a digital camera (at Carrow's in Orange, CA, and this also relates to Jesika because it was her friend that showed it to me) I just didn't get it.  What was the point of having all of those pictures stored in a camera and who cares if you could delete them?  I didn't realize that there was (or would be, this was back in the day...probably 1998) the capability to print them.  I just saw it as a way to take pictures and look at them on a computer (I was barely getting into email back in '98, people!).

Once I realized, several years later, how AWESOME digital cameras were, I was quick to toss the old school camera and never look back.

But back to blogging.

When Jesika told me I should have a blog I thought, "Wow, that's really lame...I am not an angst-ridden emo-listening teen with dark eyeliner, I am an adult who does not need a Web Log.  What moron would publish their diary on the INTERNET??"

As it turned out, I was missing the point and the scope of blogging.  It's not just about putting yourself out there and having random strangers feel sorry for you.  Shocking, right?!  Ha!

I like to write and so I finally caved.  Here is my First Blog Post.  Wow, when I was inserting that link I realized that was almost exactly four years ago today!  I learned that blogging was kind of fun, and it was even more fun to read other people's blogs.  I was surprised to learn that people blog about everything...their personal cause, kids, parenting, horses, and of course everything else under the sun.  And this led me to learn that there is a whole blogging community...and then I realized that blogging is actually relevant to *me* and not just for teenagers.  Sometimes I am a bit slow on the uptake.

But here is why I just recently (as in, the last couple of weeks) decided to take my blog seriously.  It is not only my story, but the story of my family.  Although I am famous in my little ring of friends for my ridiculous memory, I sill forget things.  My blog lets me capture those thoughts and then...they are there forever.

For example, I definitely would not remember that I actually thought having a baby would be easier than being pregnant if I hadn't written this little post.  Yeah, that one makes me laugh.  I might not remember the time it took me four hours to get out of the house when Jack was a baby if I hadn't written this.

You get the idea (oh, and the reason I abandoned that blog and started a new one is because my family found the old one and it was annoying to have to talk about it at family dinners - who knew the internet was, you know, public...ha!).

Someday my kids will be able to look at this and say, "Mom lived in a house infested with scorpions?" etc etc...

But also, this has been a great way for me to gain some perspective.  I guess it's not unlike a paper journal...the kind you actually write in, with a pen and all (which I kept religiously as a teenager but would hate to get back into now...my hand cramped up the other day after filling out a form at the doctor's office).  But it's easier than keeping a "real" journal.  I can type faster than I can write, and I can easily browse old entries that make me realize how much things have, or have not, changed, or how silly it was to worry about something that at the time seemed like the end of the world but that turned out to be...nothing.

It was one such browsing experience that prompted this post.

I was looking through some "old" entries and I found this post, written when I was six months pregnant and living in the Scorpion Ranch (six whole months ago).  Here is the specific paragraph that I can't stop thinking about:

For one thing, the house has not sold yet.  This puts a damper in my pre-conceived images of life after baby.  We are all supposed to be moved into some cozy little house in a nice town with a Target and a Kohl's and a Chick-fil-A.  Jack will have his own room, right next to our room, where I don't need to worry about him getting stolen or trapped in a fire (yes, those are legitimate concerns I have and one of the reasons I don't want to even think about transitioning him to "his" room - which is all the way across the house).  We will have our nice King size bed back together again, as in actually lifted off the ground and with a headboard, and Baby Girl will sleep peacefully in her Arms Reach co-sleeper next to our bed.  We will have a teeny little yard that Jack can play in and a bathtub that doesn't rival a jacuzzi or a shower in a cruise ship (we currently have both).  I will put Jack in the stroller and the baby in the Ergo and walk to the park in the mornings.  It will be perfect!


Guess what?


We are in a cozy little house with Target, Chick-Fil-A and Kohl's down the road.  Jack has his own room, and while it's not next to our room, we have an alarm that beeps when any door or window is opened so I feel safe with him in it (not to mention the pit bull who lives with us and is on guard 24/7).  Our nice big bed IS off the ground with the headboard attached and Baby Girl DOES sleep in her co-sleeper for a portion of the night.  We have a teeny, tiny little yard that Jack plays in and our bathtubs are all normal-sized bathtubs.  And,  I put Claire in the Ergo every morning and put Jack in the stroller and we go for a nice walk on the nice walking trails we have access to.


Literally, everything I wanted...we got.  Without my blog, I would remember the stress and uncertainty of selling our old house, for sure, but I don't think I would have remembered exactly what I wanted.  And if I couldn't remember exactly what I wanted, how could I ever know and appreciate it when I got exactly what I wanted?


My mom and Charles were both right when they told me it would all work out in the end.  They were more than right.  It did work out, and I am grateful to them for their words of wisdom.  


And now for my words of wisdom (to the non-bloggers/journal-keepers): Start a blog.  If you already have one, keep up with it.  Or, if your hand is in good shape, get all old-school and write in an actual journal with real paper and pen.  You can thank me later.  ;)

First Solo Outing with Two Kids...Or, I Make it Out Alive!

Until this morning, I had not taken the kids anywhere by myself.

This is how we spend our days.

Most moms are probably thinking, "What a wimp!", "How can she stand being in the house all day?", or "How is that even possible? Doesn't she have to do things like grocery shop?"  These are all valid questions.  Claire is, after all, two months old.  It is boring being in the house all day.  We do need to eat.  And yes, I am kind of a wimp.

But I am lucky (so lucky) in that Charles works from home and we are close to everything we need.  So he either does the grocery shopping while I hold down the fort or we go together once he's wrapped up for the day.  It's a pretty sweet deal.  

I am getting bored, though.  And there are all sorts of fun things to do around here.  Like, for instance, go to Story Time at the library.

How fun does Story Time sound?  Kids around the same age as Jack, fun new stories we haven't heard, climate-control...all the things we like, and only a short drive away.

So I decide this would be a great first outing.

Before I get into this, I should say that Jack is a good boy on most occasions who weaves in and out of the Terrible Twos on a day-to-day type deal.  As in, yesterday, he was just such a joy to be with and so well-behaved and in such a great mood you would have thought Charles and I were the World's Greatest Parents, because how else could a little boy be so perfect?  But today was spent in the throes of the Terrible Twos and if you had been at the library, or Target, you would have surely wondered how any mom could do such a horrible job raising her child.  

Picture this scene, if you will: a nice lady at the library giving us a cute little duck "ticket" to get into Toddler Story Time, a little auditorium full of babies and kids 1-2 years old, two energetic teachers at the front of the room racing through pirate stories and puppet routines in an attempt to keep their young audience's attention...and then we enter. 

I was holding the baby in her car seat because I somehow thought it would be a good idea to carry her in the seat she was sleeping in because, well, she was asleep, and the stroller seemed like overkill (had I known how far I would have to walk or that the diaper bag would get heavy or that I'd be dragging a reluctant two-year old with my other hand, I'd have brought the stroller).  

As soon as the door opens, Jack decides this is not his cup of tea and lets everyone (EVERYONE) know in no uncertain terms that he does not want to be there.  "I want to go!" he yells.  It is pretty loud in there, what with all the toddlers and all, and Jack does not like loud noises...although he has no qualms with making loud noises himself, as was evidenced at this time.  "I WANT TO GO HOME!" he yells, louder this time.  At this point, the door is still open because Jack won't walk into the room all the way.  I am holding the baby in one hand and holding the door open/pushing Jack in with the other.  Only, he's not going.

He keeps yelling that he wants to leave.  People are staring to look at us.  Kids are starting to turn around and watch.  At which point Jack takes it up a level and starts yelling, "Don't LOOK AT ME!" to every child who dares turn his head our direction, and the more he yells the more kids are turning around and looking, and they more they are looking, the more he is yelling...you get the idea.  

We are still in the doorway.

I manage to coax (shove) him in and put Claire's car seat on the ground.  I sit down and pull Jack, still yelling at kids not to look at him, onto my lap.  "Why are the kids looking at me?!" he is screaming.  Whooo, boy.  Jack wants to leave and I am starting to feel like a jerk for making him stay as he is truly unhappy being there.  But...it wasn't easy getting there and I decided I was going to stay for Story Time, like it or not.

So he sits on my lap, complaining (loudly) as the teachers go through their routines.  There are lots of kids and moms in the room and they all seem to know the drill, and clap after each routine.  Every time they clap, Jack asks if it's over and begs to leave.  At this point Claire wakes up so I pull her out of her seat and onto my lap as well (Lord knows the last thing I need is *two* screaming kids).  

As the end of Story Time nears, Jack is quieting down but still miserable so I decide to pack up and go on a "good" note (in this case, no screaming/yelling at innocent babies to look away from him) after a whopping 15 minute of Story Time.

But I am not going to return home defeated, oh no!  I decide to go to Target to let Jack pick out a new movie for movie night (a new Friday night activity at our house).  

And then the fun really begins.

So, when we normally go to Target we park by the side with the Starbucks (how lucky am I, right???  Starbucks inside Target!) and get a beverage to enjoy during our shopping trip. And more times than not, we buy Jack a cake pop to munch on (this keeps him relatively subdued for the first ten minutes, at least).  Knowing this, and also not needing anything on that side of the store, I decide not to park there so I don't have to take Jack past the cake pops.  

I load Claire up in the Ergo this time and hold Jack's hand and into Target we go.  I wanted to buy him Nemo, but apparently it's in the Disney vault so I was browsing through through the blu-ray choices while Claire slept and Jack looked at a Mickey Mouse book.  I quickly come to a decision (A Bug's Life) and tell Jack it's time to go.  

At first, I think we are going to get out of there without any problems.

Then Jack sees a Transformer toy (one for $30, nonetheless) and decides he wants it.  No, make that he  decides he "needs" it (I would like to take a quick moment here to congratulate the marketing department of Target for putting $30 Transformer toys at toddler eye-level in the movie section...nice move).

Not only does Jack "need" this Transformer toy (and for the record, he doesn't even know what a Transformer is), but he decides to throw a complete FIT to prove how much he needs it.  He sits on the floor, he pulls the toy (repeatedly) from the shelf, he does his window-breaking-opera-singer scream and screams "I NEED IT!!!!!" all the while refusing to stand up.  I am trying to put the toy back and pull him up with the sleeping baby attached to me and quite frankly, it is not going well.  

I finally get the toy back on the shelf and grab his hand and make a beeline for the checkout stand.  I am practically dragging my screaming and crying child through the store while he lets everyone know he needs that toy.  When I get to the one open line on our side of the store...there are four people in it.  Claire is starting to wake up.  I see a lane open a little farther down and head that way (screaming toddler in tow).  A lady is unloading a very full cart.  

There is one more hope...the Express Lane.  By Starbucks.  I decide to go for it (a little cake pop drama can't be worse that this carrying on, I figure).  As *soon* as we near the Express Line Jack sees the Starbucks and his needs change.

"I want a cake pop!" he cries.  The Transformer has been forgotten.  Claire is stirring.  I try to ignore Jack's request because I know that what my negative response is going to invoke (and this kid is SO not getting a cake pop after what he's put me through).  "I want a cake pop! I want a cake pop! I want a cake pop!"  I remain strong and ignore, ignore, ignore.  He changes tactics.  "Please can I have a cake pop, Mama?"

Sigh.

"No, you cannot have a cake pop today" I say.

Well you can imagine how that went down.

The next thing I know I have a wailing, crying, tantrum-ing toddler trying to throw himself to the ground and yelling "I WANT A CAKE POP!" at the top of his lungs while I use my free hand to pull the debit card out of the Ergo and try my hardest to avoid the stares of the people in line behind me (the cashier was kind enough to pretend she didn't notice, or maybe she's just used to it...I know I am not the first one to have a screaming kid in Target).  "I don't want anyone to get my cake pop!!  I want a cake pop!! PLEEEEEASE can I have a CAKE POP!?!?"

At this point I am going to lose it.  But right before I throw myself to the floor and join in on this tantrum, I feel something...funny.  Laughter.  

That's right...some part of me, the part that "will look back on this and laugh" surfaces and all of a sudden I am finding humor in this moment.  And with humor as my armor, I am able to pull (drag) my very, very, VERY loud child out of the store and load him up into the car (with tears streaming down his face and yelling "I WANT A CAKE POP!" the whole way, I might add). And as soon as we get into the car the tears subside and my reasonable two-year-old returns ("I don't want other people to get my cake pop, Mommy") and we head home.  

The moral of this story is A) I am brave (ha!), B) I survived, and C) don't check out by Starbucks (unless you are going to buy the damn cake pop).

The 21st of September

I got this idea from Jill at Baby Rabies.  She recorded a "normal" day in the life by taking a picture every hour.

I thought this was a fabulous (FABULOUS) idea and wanted to do the same thing, right away...but I kept forgetting.  And forgetting.  And forgetting.  And then I wanted to use the fancy camera and take awesome and creative photos of my "normal" day but the big camera is so...big...and so I put it off again.  Then last night I decided that TODAY WOULD BE THE DAY (mostly because Claire is two months old today so we were going to do her two-month old photo shoot and I knew I'd remember if we were taking pictures already)!! And...I set alarms on my phone to remind me and I STILL forgot to take a picture first thing when we woke up.

When my phone alarm dinged at 9 AM I was so mad at myself for missing the "wakeup shot" I had intended (you have no idea how cute Claire is when she wakes up!) I almost put it off again.  But then I decided not to.  My reality is, after all, forgetting to do what I am supposed to be doing and being a little bit behind in general.  So how appropriate that my pictures would be missing the first picture of the day!

Also, I decided to be really honest and take the pictures doing what I was actually doing on each hour...rather than maybe waiting a few minutes for a "better" chore or taking one early because Jack was being cute, etc.

I loved this so much, I am going to try to do this each month.  What a great way to look back and remember these days and see how much things change.

Enough of my rambling.  Here it goes!

9:00 AM

This is embarassing.  The house is a mess. Jack is just in a diaper.  I am in my pajamas.  The baby is in her swing (look at her go!).

10:00 AM

Look!  I picked up!  I am still in my pjs, but Jack is dressed.  I just finished nursing the baby and I am burping her.  Jack is "playing music" with his toy hammer and Janga's crate.  He is not allowed to touch Janga's crate.  I am happy he's not making a mess with his toys so I pretend I don't notice.

11:00 AM

We finally get out of the house and go for a walk.  That green blob you see is the baby's head.  Well, it's the baby carrier covering her head (love you, Ergo!) while she sleeps.  Jack walked this far but jumped into the stroller right after I took this.

12:00 PM

I am nursing the baby.  Mostly, I was nursing as an apology for an unsuccessful and ill-received attempt at removing boogers from her cute little nose with the nasal aspirator.  

1:00 PM

Lunch and laundry while the baby naps in her swing.  Yes, that laundry is on the dining room table.  I usually fold it while Claire sleeps in the Ergo.  Today she gave me a few minutes to fold laundry all by myself, but I woke her up when I started crunching on the carrots (no joke).  Again, I love my Ergo.  Not sure that I would get anything done without it.

2:00 PM

Jack is asleep, so while Claire is nursing I catch up on some quality TV (Real Housewives of Beverly Hills).  As you can see, the toys have started to make a comeback.

3:00 PM

Jack is still asleep.  I put the baby's favorite toys out and lay her on the bed to look at them.  This buys me about five minutes...long enough to pick up all the mess from this morning's baby Glamour Shots photo shoot that we left all over the floor!

4:00 PM

As Jack finishes his snack, I change Claire's diaper.  Which I take great care in picking out (it needs to match her outfit since we are going to the mall soon) and which she promptly poops in.  But no worry. I have more than one orange diaper, so I put on another.  Which she also promptly poops in.  Sigh. 

5:00 PM

Off to the mall we go!! I ride in back with the kids.  Charles and I talk about how AWESOME it is that we have all the stores we like and need just down the road from us.  YAY!!

6:00 PM

While I scour Bath and Body Works for Halloween candles, Charles and Jack find this amazing park...with a TRAIN.  Jack is excited to show me the train and his "boyfriend" that he met (hehe!).  It's cooled waaaaay down but it's still hot and I know Jack was actually thirsty because he didn't even complain that I gave him water instead of juice.  

7:00 PM

We go to Houlihan's for dinner.  Charles and Jack are inside the restaurant but guess what I'm doing?  I'm nursing the baby, who I nursed right before we went into the restaurant but who decided she was hungry again after pooping at the dinner table.  This reminds me...I seriously need to get a nursing cover.

8:00 PM

I was actually nursing the baby at 8:00 (do you see a pattern here?) but Charles and Jack were outside playing with the neighbors and Charles had the camera.  So he took this right when he came in, when I was getting Claire ready for her bath.  I might wear a little makeup when I do this next month.  Ha!

9:00 PM

I just finished nursing the baby and am rocking her to sleep.  There is no way I am taking any pictures that require a flash, so I take this one with my phone instead.  It's a night light next to my rocker.  As I am rocking her to sleep, I am so grateful that I can do this and that she still needs me.  We saw some parents surprise their 16 year-old daughter with a brand new car tonight after dinner and they saw me standing with Claire watching and said, "Start saving, this will be you in no time!"  Well, I am pretty sure I won't be buying Claire a brand new car for her 16th birthday but I am sure that this time is flying by and that it won't be long before I was wishing I could rock her to sleep.  I mean geez, at least when I am up at night with her now I know where she's at and what she's doing!  I don't want to think about how I'll feel when she's 16 and out on the town.  OK, enough digressing.

10:00 PM

I start putting this together.  In the dark, because I am in my room and Claire is asleep in her bed and I'm still too nervous to leave her alone.  Also, I am still in shock that I have a child that sleeps by herself, if only for a short time each night before she wakes up and comes to bed with me, and I am convinced she is going to wake up any second.

So there you have it.  A day in the life.